whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
