OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No subtext here. People are naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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