come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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