You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
