What did we do last night that was yellow?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
