yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
