in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
