check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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