that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
