I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize