Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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