Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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