my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
