Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hippo gnu deer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
