she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
