I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
