Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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