Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
