we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
