How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
