I want to make a zoo with you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize