It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
