fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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