He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
