Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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