So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
