Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
