from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
