You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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