You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
