but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
