I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
