You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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