Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
