If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize