Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
