I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
