Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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