pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
