You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
