Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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