Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I love you.
Bad choice
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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