i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
