She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Drake has all the answers
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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