Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
