i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
