there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
