We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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