There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
