It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
