the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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