I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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