i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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