Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
