I think my vagina is haunted
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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