my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
